You're such a good and understanding person, Lord EO. I'm glad to have friends on the Internet like you. My situation with the girl on FF. Net is similar to what you told me. It really hurt me too, and it took my a while to actually tell one of my other friends about it.
Lalexx was a OroAnko author like I was, and I review for her fic, which how we started to talk. It was going really well for a while, and then she told me I should get a MSN account so we can chat faster. I was reluctant because I already have a Yahoo account, but I agreed because I also wanted to talk to her more. It started okay, but she eventually started to ignore me, even though I didn't understand why. I found she was ignoring me because she wanted a "break" from me. She found me 'clingy', and even though that wasn't really the reason why we decided to break off the whole "friendship" thing, I blame myself for it, and her. I admit it, I was clingy; I talked to her almost every day because she lived in the UK, which meant she was six hours ahead of me. When I first started talking to her, I realize that we could only talk for a little bit because of the time difference, so I tried to talk to her as much as possible because we have the same interests.
I caught on to what she was doing, ignoring me and all. We fought once and made up, but when it happened again, she told me that she didn't want to talk to me anymore. When I asked why, she told me because she didn't feel "compatible", said that my writing was too formal and she couldn't be herself when she was talking to me. She said it wasn't my fault, it was hers. Somehow, I don't believe that. We promise we can still be friends "in the heart", but I feel that her promise was just empty words to get rid of me faster. It still makes me sad when I think about.
However, when I thought about it more, the reason why our friendship went downhill was because it was BOTH of our faults. I do admit I was clingy and I apologize for it. But can you really blame me? By the time I get on the computer, whether it's a school day or not, we only have a few hours to speak to each other before one of have to go to bed. The girl told me I should stop apologizing because it wouldn't do any good. Despite how I was "clingy", I kinda have to say that most of the problem lied with her. Instead of telling me how she felt, she just ignored me and ran away. When I finally told one of my friends about it, my friend agreed that it was Lalexx's fault, because she didn't face the problem. But no matter how crude and mean she was when she told why she didn't want to speak to me, I still considered her as a friend, because there was a bond there. I wanted to know her because, just by reading her awesome fic, I could tell she had a creative mind, and I just wanted to get to know that part of her. I still wonder if she really does hate me. I had argument with her just a couple of weeks ago, due the whole 'I know you visit my deviantART account a lot and I think you're stalking me, so stop it" thing. I wasn't even stalking her! I used her account as a passageway to get to deviantART when I'm on FF. Net. When I'm not on FF. Net, I used a woman called RoseMei (since this woman has a really awesome doujinshi and I'm hoping she update someday). She even got her friends involved, and I cried because it hurt to have a friend think of me like that. However, I can't really hate Lalexx since I respect her because of writing skills and we were friends ONCE. I know it's stupid, but still...
Sorry to unload this on you; you're the second person I felt comfortable enough to share it with. I feel I can be honest with you, Lord EO, because you're always there for me. I'm really happy I have people I can count on, like you. I know I haven't spoken to a lot of the users recently, but I consider KrytenKoro, DoorToNothing, Guardian Soul, Neumannz, Troisnyxetienne, LapisScarab, and Maggosh to be my closest and favorite friends/comrades on the wiki. :)
_1_KHCOM.gif){kind=icon}
_3_KHCOM.gif){kind=icon}
Eternal Nothingness XIII